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Researchers Introduce New Model to Replace the Sales Funnel

A Sales Growth Company
February 21, 2024

DENVER, CO – A paradigm shift is shaking the foundations of traditional sales methodologies as the Sales Funnel faces a potential overthrow from its long-standing throne. Sales leaders are steering away from the conventional emphasis on closing deals, instead favoring a continuous influx of opportunities.

Dr. Emma Maverick, the visionary behind this groundbreaking shift, shared the inspiration behind her revolutionary model: “The impetus came from observing a shift in businesses’ desires. There was a growing thrill in the chaos of leads rather than the structure of closing deals. The Sales Rectangle, as we’re calling it, is a visual representation of this dynamic, emphasizing the importance of collecting leads rather than managing deals.”

Elaborating on the philosophy of the new model, Dr. Maverick stated, “Traditional models often portrayed a linear progression from leads to closures. The rectangle encapsulates the fluidity of the modern sales landscape. Rather than investing valuable resources in nurturing and closing deals, businesses under this new model revel in the constant influx of new leads. It’s about the thrill of the chase rather than the satisfaction of closure.”


Jake Reynolds, one of the pioneering sales leaders, has adopted this novel model within his team. When questioned about its impact on performance, Reynolds explained, “We’ve seen a shift in the metrics we prioritize. While closures have taken a back seat, our pipeline has ballooned. We’re measured by the number of leads brought in, and the projections for next quarter are exceptionally promising.”

Regarding the effect on revenue, Reynolds asserted, “that’s not the North Star for us. This is 21st-century selling – the wide-net strategy. The volume of leads entering the pipeline is more important than meticulously tracking every deal. Deals closing is a crapshoot; you’ve gotta pack the top of the funnel for things to trickle down.”

As we navigate this uncharted territory, one thing is clear for Dr. Maverick and Mr. Reynolds: the future of selling lies in embracing chaos. The seismic shift from the conventional sales funnel to the chaos-infused sales rectangle signifies a pivotal moment in the evolution of sales strategies.

This is a work of satire. For practical strategies to enhance your close rates and refine your deal management skills, we recommend exploring our comprehensive Deal Management eBook.


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